Musings
by Ice Bear
Summary: A difficult night from each of the boys'point of view
1. Chapter 1

_Musings on My Partner: __A meet gone wrong, from Deaq's point of vie_w

Deaq woke, startled to find himself in the hospital. He looked down when his right hand wouldn't move, only to find his partner's head, asleep, on top of it. He gently tugged it out and placed it on the shaggy chestnut mane.

He settled himself back on the bed and let his eyes close. What a day – or had it been more, he wasn't sure - no wonder Van had fallen asleep. They'd been chasing Jimmy Kane for three months and finally gotten far enough along with the case to have a deal in the works. Kane hadn't wanted to part with his guns – at least not till he met them – and then he spent the meet ogling – that was the only word that fit in Deaq's mind – ogling his partner. His good hand fisted as that memory returned.

Seems there was something about Van that caught Kane's attention. Yeah, something alright – maybe it was those big green eyes or those tight leather pants or…okay, alright, Van was a 'pretty boy' as Billie liked to say. But both she and Deaq knew that there was so much more to Van than his looks.

Kane clearly was interested in only one thing, though, Van, and Deaq had never seen his partner so rattled before. Granted he, himself, wasn't entirely happy about the way Kane was watching his partner. Deaq had to stifle the urge to grab Van and leave. He wasn't used to a scared Van – now that he thought about it - that was the reason it had worried him. His partner was scared of Kane, and Van was never scared, ever. A wound up uptight Van maybe but downright scared – no – that wasn't his partner.

Kane had taken them to a back table and had dinner served at the Club he used as a meeting place, and made sure he was sitting next to Van. Deaq knew every time Kane 'accidentally' touched his partner because he could see Van flinch. By the end of the dinner, Van had pulled so far into himself that Deaq wasn't sure he was even in the building. He had to tug gently on his arm to get him to leave the table and had been hurt – yeah that was the right word – when his partner flinched at his touch.

They had gotten out of the Club without a problem, and he remembered Van screaming his name just before they got to the car. He had been surprised when Van turned back toward the club, his gun already out as he yelled at him to get down. He had moved, although if the pain in his shoulder was any indication, not quickly enough.

He had heard Van's gun barking and knew there had been a scuffle because he could recall a hazy vision of Kane with his hands around Van's throat as he pinned the smaller man up against a car. He heard Van threaten to kill if he touched him again. He had tried to get up and get Kane off his partner because Van still sounded scared. But he couldn't find the strength to get off the ground. He remembered hearing bones break, but he had been pretty much out of it by then.

He did know that Van had tried to stop the bleeding, so obviously Kane hadn't gotten the best of him, and he wondered vaguely when it had started to rain because he felt something wet on his face as his partner had worked on him. Van had been beside him in the ambulance talking, murmuring words of encouragement and…

Deaq's eyes popped open and he turned to look again at his partner, who was still asleep. His hand moved down and traced a tender finger around a bruise on the cheek that lay facing him. Apparently Kane had hurt his boy; well there were at least a dozen ways to deal with scum like that. And make no mistake, Deaqon Hayes would see to it that Kane paid for that bruise and anything else he had done to hurt Donovan Ray. Why his partner brought out this fierce protective streak was beyond him, but he did.

He smiled when he realized the cat green eyes were open and watching him. "Hey partner, sleep well?"

Van remained still, the eyes carefully assessing the man in front of him. "You alright?" he asked in a husky whisper tinged with fatigue.

"Thanks to you," he nodded. Van sat up slowly and that's when the patient saw the hand shaped black and blue imprint on the pale neck, and he lost his smile. "He hurt you baby," he growled.

"He won't do it again." The voice was strained and soft. Deaq nodded in agreement with the sentiment in the green eyes, which made it quite clear that Kane had been dealt with.

"You hurt anywhere else?" Okay so the fact that Kane had clearly tried to strangle him was pushing all his protective buttons.

"I'm okay Deaq." The green eyes had shuttered briefly.

"Not an answer partner."

"A couple of broken ribs and a broken wrist. Happy now?"

"Hey, hey," Deaq said softly as his partner stood and made for the door, "just worried about you, and in case you forgot, that's part of what I get paid for…"

"Yeah, it's just your job." And Van was gone.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Musings on My Partner II - _Van's POV_

Van settled himself in a chair next to his partner's hospital bed. He cringed as his broken ribs protested the movement. He leaned forward slightly, settling his left arm on the bed. He turned his gaze to the patient.

What a complete cluster…damn this whole case has been a horror show from the beginning. Jimmy Kane – he shuttered as the name rushed through his mind. He should have listened to his gut and gotten them out of there as soon as he had laid eyes on him. Of course Deaq wouldn't have listened, but at least he could have tried.

When Kane looked at him, make that the way Kane looked at him; he had wanted to turn and run. Something in those cold grey eyes scared him, down to his core. He knew without question that the man would hurt him if he ever got him alone. He was used to men looking at him, according to his father he worked hard to get people to look, and his boss was always calling him a 'pretty boy.' Even his partner grumbled on occasion about his tight leather pants and his habit of not buttoning his shirt.

But Kane, Kane didn't want to just look at him. No he wanted to humiliate him and leave him bloody and broken, of that Van was sure. He didn't question his gut on this, and he fought throughout the meet to not let his fear show. He knew he had failed to some degree when he saw the look of concern in Deaq's eyes. He figured if he could just make it through dinner he'd be okay. But when Kane sat next to him and kept touching him, he was sure he would lose it completely.

He had been so lost in his own world that when it was time to go, he had pulled away when Deaq touched him. He wanted to run out of the club and drive till they ran out of gas; instead he walked quietly by his partner's side, Kane's eyes burning a hole in his back.

He focused again on the sleeping figure in the bed. The left shoulder was heavily bandaged and there was one last bag of blood hanging from the IV poll. He sighed, in relief more than anything else, remembering the doctor's reassurance that his partner would be fine with some rest. He lowered his head to his arm on the bed. "Don't you ever scare me like this again, partner," he whispered before his eyes closed.

They had walked out of the club, Van meekly following Deaq, so relieved to be away from Kane that he was pretty sure he would have kept on walking if Deaq hadn't stopped at their car. When he turned to finally say something to his partner, he saw Kane and two of his goons. He yelled at Deaq to get down. He had his gun out and started firing, taking down two of the three. It was all replaying in slow motion in his head, and he knew it would play every night for a long time as he watched Deaq fall to the ground, blood pouring from his shoulder where the bullet found its mark.

Kane had grabbed him around the throat and pushed him up against an SUV, breaking ribs due to the force he used. The man outweighed him by close to 100 pounds, and had no compunction about hurting him. As it was, he was having trouble breathing as Kane tightened a hand around his throat. All Van could see was the blood coming out of his partner, and he knew Deaq would be lost if Kane won. So he fought back with all he had.

He had tried to double over when the punch came that broke more ribs, but the hand at his throat held him steady. He vaguely recalled threatening to kill Kane if he touched him again, and after getting in a few punches of his own, he got leverage to pull away from the car enough to pull out his other gun, and he shot Kane where he stood.

He was on his knees by his partner before Kane's body hit the ground. He wanted to talk to Deaq, to tell him it would be okay, but his own voice was barely there, thanks to the abuse his throat had taken. He took the remains of his ripped shirt and pushed tightly onto the wound, and tried to shake away the tears that fell. He wasn't sure why he was crying – but he couldn't stop. By the time they made it into the ambulance, he had enough of his voice back to whisper encouragement.

At the hospital, he had been ushered into a cubicle where he waited for close to two hours before the doctor came. He was tired and scared and in pain. The doctor wanted to admit him, but he refused. He let them set his wrist, wasn't sure how exactly it got broken - but it hadn't wasted any time in sending pain signals up his arm - and wrap his ribs. Then he got a young nurse to give him a scrubs top, and he had gone to the OR waiting room.

After the doctor had assured him that Deaq was going to be alright, he had followed the gurney to the room and sat down beside his partner to wait. He hadn't meant to fall asleep but the worry, pain and stress took him away for a while. He woke when he felt a gentle touch on his cheek; he opened his eyes and found himself staring into Deaq's.

"Hey partner, sleep well?" Deaq asked gently, his smile warming the other man.

Van looked closely, doing his own assessment before responding "You alright?" His voice, husky and tired, surprised him.

"Thanks to you."

Van sat up and became alarmed as he watched the smile leave his partner's face. "He hurt you baby," the patient growled, as his hand pointed to the bruised throat.

"He won't do it again." The voice was barely a whisper, and he let Deaq read him for a moment to make sure he was clear that Kane was no longer a threat.

"You hurt anywhere else?" Van could tell Deaq was going into his mother hen mode, despite the fact that he was the one lying in the hospital bed. Why he thought he had to protect him from a dead man was a question for another day.

"I'm okay Deaq." The green eyes shut briefly, trying not to recall the bloody scene at the club.

"Not an answer partner."

"A couple of broken ribs and a broken wrist. Happy now?" Van stood up. He had to get out of there. He felt like a prized cow being inspected for damage. He knew deep down that Deaq wasn't treating him that way, but damn it, he wasn't the one who had a bullet removed from his chest.

"Hey, hey," Deaq said softly, "just worried about you, and in case you forgot, that's part of what I get paid for…"

"Yeah, it's just your job." And Van was gone. He knew he was too tired, and still too scared right now to think straight, but he couldn't sit there and play their usual game.

He stopped at the nurses' station to let them know the patient was awake. Then he left the hospital and hailed a cab. He kept his emotions inside until safely inside his hotel room. He sat on the bed, pulled a pillow to his battered chest, rolled onto his side and closed his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Part III

The two men tried to ignore each other three days later as they sat in the interrogation room at police headquarters waiting to go over their statements on the Kane shooting. Billie had been ready to strangle them both at the Candy Store as they sat side by side for two and a half hours writing reports without exchanging a word.

When IA came in, instead of the detective in charge of the Kane case, green eyes locked on brown and they went into partner mode. Deaq defended Van passionately for his actions, going into far more detail with his words than he had done in print. Van described in minute detail what happened in the parking lot.

Deaq knew that this was hard for Van. When one of the IA officers asked Deaq if he thought his partner had been asking for it…after all look at the way he dresses… Deaq's good hand pounded the table and he stood up. He was going to hurt someone if he didn't get out now – most likely the IA idiot who was implying his partner deserved to be beaten by the monster, Kane. He took a deep breath and reined himself in. He could tell that Van was almost at his breaking point – he hadn't looked to good to start with, and now, hell he looked like he was about to keel over. So it wouldn't help if he went King Kong on the IA idiots. He gathered his partner up and left the room.

Deaq drove them back to Van's hotel. Van had watched his partner through semi-closed lids during the drive. He was more thankful then he could voice to have been taken out of that interrogation. He didn't think he could relive the moments of fear again if his life depended on it. All they did was serve to bring back the panic he felt, the sense of loss, when he had seen his partner fall to the bullet.

Deaq pulled up in front of the hotel and waited. "You still with me V?" he chuckled when it was clear Van hadn't realized the car had stopped.

"What? Oh, sorry." Van looked a little embarrassed. "Look, I wanted to thank you for what you did today - getting me out of that room - I appreciate it partner."

"And I want to thank you for holding on when it would have been easy to just let go." Deaq said solemnly.

"No way was I letting Kane win." Van said passionately. "Not losing you on my watch, Deaq."

"Same time tomorrow, partner?" Deaq smiled broadly and held up his fist.

"Same bat channel, partner." Van responded, tapping the fist with his own.


End file.
